


Don't

by Natashasolten



Category: Wiseguy
Genre: First Time, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-15
Updated: 2011-10-15
Packaged: 2017-10-24 15:49:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natashasolten/pseuds/Natashasolten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sonny's coming onto Vinnie and Frank's advice is just to turn away.  But it's not that easy when you are inexplicably, irrefutably, in love with the target.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't

**Author's Note:**

> This story was first published in Jan. 2010 in the zine "The War Inside."

“...and even if you rob my heart  
in the night...”

\- Ingeborg Bachmann

 

Frank didn’t seem too concerned and Vinnie didn’t know how he could make Frank at least a little concerned without voicing the very thing he didn’t want to voice: Sonny was coming onto him.

He couldn’t say that. He knew it was true, but a part of him wasn’t entirely sure it was all true. Sonny was a physical guy, a funny guy, a fun guy. He loved Vinnie, no doubt about it. And they had chemistry together, which meant they were always flashing each other knowing looks, laughing, chumming around. It was quite natural. But the looks got longer and somehow deeper and Vinnie felt odd stirrings and things peeked out from the shadows he was not sure he wanted to ever acknowledge, sort of dream images that made him crazy…Sonny moving toward him, Sonny just moving, Sonny reaching out. And it wasn’t the mobster Sonny. It was always the friend in these dream fantasies. The guy who liked to laugh and play handball and go to the fights or the movies. Sometimes in the middle of the night he’d wake and feel like he wasn’t alone in the bed. Like someone else was there. He could feel the warmth. He could feel the brush of electricity of another human. And if he’d just dreamed of Sonny he automatically looked for him under the sheet before he realized he was alone and that was how he wanted it. That was how he remained safe from all of it, from forgetting what Sonny did for a living, from the strange forbidden images, from the idea of betraying your best friend. But it wasn’t easy to ignore how his breath caught when he thought of another day of working with Sonny, going out with Sonny, and what all that might involve.

He loved it. Being with Sonny.

But he hated the job.

For about five minutes now, he’d been trying to figure out how to express these thoughts and feelings to Frank. But Frank wasn’t listening.

“Frank, how well to do you know me?”

Frank looked at him frowning. “Well enough, I think.”

Vinnie swallowed tightly. “It’s getting too hard. I can’t make you understand that enough.”

“It’s always hard….”

Vinnie interrupted him hotly. “Listen to what I’m saying here! Dammit, Frank. I’m trying to tell you something.”

Frank nodded. Said nothing.

Vinnie felt his eyes grow hot. How could he say it? He pressed his lips tight, gritted his teeth. “Frank. I don’t know what’s going on between me and Sonny.”

Frank said, “You’re close. That’s hard. I know, Vince.”

“No! Listen!”

Frank’s eyes got more sly, but he stayed quiet.

“I’m confused.”

Frank sighed loudly. “I don’t know what you want me to say. It happens all the time.”

Softer, Vinnie said it again. “I’m confused.” He put the inflection on the word ‘confused’ this time.

Frank started to say, “I don’t….”

Vinnie interrupted him again. “And it does NOT happen all the time. Not with guys!”

There. He said it. He waited.

Frank crossed his arms in front of his chest. He’d been half-turned away from Vinnie. But now he turned and faced him full on. “Sonny is not….”

“Jesus, Frank! I don’t care who’s what or who’s not whatever or….” What the hell was he talking about anyway?

“Something’s happened?” Frank asked.

Vinnie let out a painful laugh. It was like they were talking in code. It was so ridiculous. All of it.

“Nothing’s happened.” But Sonny’s coming onto me. And I’m letting him. I may even be encouraging him. “Shit.” He bowed his head. “Nothing.”

“But….what?”

“There’s….unspoken stuff. I never know if, from one second to the next, things might change. There’s no more barriers. Frank, Sonny is like this force. You don’t know. You’re not around him. It’s…contagious.”

“What does he do?”

Vinnie laughed again, nervous. “Nothing. Just…things have changed, deepened. It’s not like he just looks at me. It’s like he’s pulling me…ah hell, I don’t even know what I’m saying.”

“So you just look away, right?”

Vinnie didn’t answer.

“Vince?”

Vinnie thought, If only it were that easy. “Yeah,” he said aloud. “I just look away.” And then I look back. And then I look away again. And then I look at him and he’s still staring and I feel the whole world slipping away.

“Like the whole world is slipping away.” He realized he said that last sentence of his internal dialog out loud.

“You walk away, Vince. It’s not hard. You just walk away.”

Vinnie said nothing.

“It’s not hard. Right?”

He still made no comment.

“Right?” Frank asked again.

Slowly, he nodded.

 

Tonight Sonny followed him into his suite, even though it was late. The night was over. They’d been out to dinner, to the bar. They’d had fun. But it was over. Vinnie could feel the alcohol in him making him less inhibited, making him want to continue on with the evening here in private, him and Sonny, maybe just talking about old memories of New York when they were kids, Sonny in the Bronx, Vinnie in Brooklyn. Or maybe they’d watch the late show. Or have another drink. Or….

“Hey, you tired already?” Sonny asked.

Vinnie turned, nodded. He looked at Sonny’s shoes. The mobster’s shoes. They were safe.

“Oh. Well, hell. Okay.” Sonny looked at his Rolex, checking the lateness of the hour. Maybe it was about 11 or so. Vinnie wasn’t sure. He’d lost track of the time although he had a Rolex, too, a gift from Sonny, almost twin to the one Sonny wore.

His eyes accidentally rose to the point of Sonny’s knees. He liked those trousers. Mafia trousers. They were silvery, shimmery. Soft brushed silk. They looked really good on Sonny. They were perfectly creased all the way up to….

He swallowed hard, turning away. “Yeah,” he said aloud. “I gotta get up early. Boss is a taskmaster.”

Sonny laughed, going easily, gracefully to the half-kitchen as if nothing were out of the ordinary. “How ‘bout one more drink? Just one.”

Vinnie moved toward the short open bar that separated the kitchen from the suite’s front room, watching Sonny go to the freezer, get out the ice, then get two glasses from the cupboard. Then he had the fridge open. How could opening a refrigerator door be done with such a flourish? But Sonny did it that way. Like every move he made was special.

Vinnie looked at the ice again, wanting to grab some, rub it all over his body until he felt a little better. There was nothing more he wanted to do right now than grab that ice. He stared at it, reached out, fingers inches away from a large cube in the tray, when a hand lightly smacked his away. Sonny said, “I’ll make ‘em.”

Vinnie looked up. Sonny was smiling, grinning almost. His brown eyes were mischievous, glowing, the sheen heightened by the drinks they’d already had earlier in the evening.

Vinnie turned away. He heard himself, shockingly, say, “I don’t want one.”

Sonny did not respond.

He heard ice clink into a glass. Vinnie turned back. “I said I don’t….”

“Okay,” Sonny said, voice a little exasperated. Then softer, “I’m making one for myself.”

Vinnie shook his head. “I’m…I’m…tired.”

“Fine.” Sonny grabbed his drink. He’d put something Vinnie couldn’t see in with the orange juice. He came around the bar and moved toward Vinnie. Vinnie backed up a step. Sonny noticed. “What’s the matter? You seem a little on edge tonight. Is it work?”

Yeah. Work. Vinnie said aloud, “No.”

“What then?” Sonny’s voice had gone soft. Curious. Sweet, even.

Vinnie felt his heart move up into his throat. He closed his eyes. This was all his imagination, right? He could just look away. It was that easy. Frank was right. It was that easy. Sonny didn’t really do anything for him….

He heard Sonny put down his drink. Felt his heat move closer. Vinnie took another step back.

“Vinnie?” he asked.

Vinnie realized his eyes were still closed. Now he opened them. Sonny was standing right in front of him, really close. And there was a look…concern? Worry? Affection?

One more step back and Vinnie was against a wall. Sonny reached out. Vinnie knew the gesture. Sonny would touch him on the shoulder. Sonny always did that. It was Sonny’s brand on him. That and touching him in the middle of the back. In fact, Vinnie did it, too, touched Sonny that way. They were pals. They made little pushes toward each other….against the shoulder, the back. It was how they were with each other.

Vinnie didn’t want that touch tonight, though. He didn’t like that Sonny’s eyes never wavered from his, that Sonny was so open, so intense. He didn’t like how Sonny looked…all shadowy and forbidden yet alluring and friendly, and his eyes looked like they’d be willing to do anything…anything at all. Vinnie could call the shots. Vinnie could be in control. Vinnie could take this guy all the way down and Sonny would probably just laugh the whole time, low and loving it. Sonny would pull him in. All that mad charisma. Encourage him. And then give him anything. He’d been doing it since they met. With no barriers now, there was no stopping where anything could lead. And Vinnie’s heart told him it could lead very very deep…drowning deep…and he would fall in and never breathe right again….

Because Vinnie wanted him.

God how he wanted him.

Sonny reached out to his shoulder. So predictable. Like he always did. So Vinnie knew what to do. He reached up and grabbed Sonny’s hand hard before it got to its mark, and he pushed back, and he said, teeth gritted, with a fury he thought was fake, “Don’t!”

Immediately, Sonny froze. He watched Vinnie’s face for about three seconds. Then he said, “Yeah.” He took a shaky breath and repeated it. “Yeah. You’re right. Okay.” Then he smiled almost sheepishly, lips moving into that Sonny pout that was really kind of…well…could cute describe it? Hell, yeah. Sonny was cute when he wanted to be which was, in fact, almost 90 percent of the time when he wasn’t making cutthroat deals and planning to pop guys who might pop him or hurt him, or threaten those he loved. He certainly did NOT fit the usual mob-king mold, and that was sort of off-putting.

Sonny sighed. His eyes were practically grinning when he said, maddeningly benign, “Night, Vinnie.” Then he turned and went to the elevator doors, got in and left.

Vinnie realized he’d been holding his breath. When he let it out, he whispered in a whoosh of air, “Fucking hell!”

 

The next day he met Frank. He took one look at him and felt angry. Frustrated. Looking for a fight. But he kept himself still. Very still.

“So? Spill,” Frank said.

Vinnie shrugged. “Nothing to spill today.”

“You all right?”

Vinnie nodded tightly.

“You and Sonny?” He didn’t have to ask any full question. It was all there, all unspoken. It was funny the way humans communicated sometimes. They all thought words were the way, but so much was inflection, body language, eye contact, and a half sentence might say more than a whole paragraph. It was like poetry.

“What about it?”

“You were the one upset about it last time,” Frank said softly.

“It’s fucking nothing,” Vinnie said, trying to keep the heat from his voice.

Frank’s eyebrows rose in that look that said, ‘I don’t believe a word you are saying right now.’

That non-verbal response pissed Vinnie off further. “I gotta go.”

“Vince?” Frank moved to block him.

“There’s fucking nothing more to report!” Vinnie strode past him, hitting him with the side of his body, knowing he caused Frank to lose his balance but not looking back, not wanting to see. And Frank’s look? He knew what it was. That face would be holding total distrust now, mixed with a kind of curmudgeonly concern, and Frank’s own brand of pissed off.

“Vince, get back here!” came the order.

But Vinnie just kept walking.

 

Sonny was all copper light and grins. Vinnie was all darkness and edges. Shouldn’t it have been the other way around? Wasn’t Vinnie wearing the white hat after all?

But tonight Sonny was in brushed gold. And Vinnie wore the black. Sonny had a kind of halo about him that glittered. While Vinnie felt himself encompassed in tight enveloping armor the color of midnight.

The party was uncomfortable to say the least. Patrice was there. But Sonny had told Vinnie, earlier, he was determined to be the life of it. “Patty’s gonna see me have a good time. Fuck him. He’ll see he doesn’t faze me in the least.”

Vinnie had smiled, a genuine one, and said he thought it was a good idea, but he didn’t want to come.

“But you have to come,” Sonny said. “I can’t do this without you.” Oddly, it wasn’t an order, but a request.

Vinnie felt a flutter at those words, a stomach thing. Like the flu. How could he resist?

The party was in New York. When they got there, after driving two hours in the late afternoon twilight, Sonny touched Vinnie not so lightly on the wrist, a gleam in his eye. “Come on,” he said, moving from the entrance and into the ballroom. The party was in full swing. Anyone in the high climbing social scene was there. Vinnie was already bored. He held back, scowling.

Sonny grabbed his wrist and pulled, “Come on!” He moved like a dancer, all grace and gold, and Vinnie saw Sonny immediately ferret out The Cat, head for him like the whirlwind he was. Daring. Abstract. Unpredictable.

Patrice looked up as they approached. To Vinnie’s relief, Sonny had let go of his wrist by then. Pat said, softly, to some big cohort beside him Vinnie did not recognize, “Ah, here come the Louis and Lestat of organized crime.”

Sonny said, cocking his head, “The who and the who?”

Vinnie blanched. Then leaned toward Sonny, saying sotto voce, “I’ll tell ya later.”

Pat chuckled very briefly at his own joke. “Sonny. You made it.” He looked up at Vinnie. “Nice to see you again, Vincenzo.” His voice sounded alien and seductive and horrible all at the same time. Vinnie got a chill and looked around for a waiter with a tray of drinks, anything would do. While he was looking, he mumbled, “Nice to see ya, too, Mr. Patrice.”

As if perfectly timed, someone came by with a full platter. Vinnie grabbed two champagne glasses. He nudged one into Sonny’s hand, who glanced at him gratefully, and then started rapidly drinking the other.

Feeling a little better now, he met Patrice’s flat blue eyes. Patrice said, “How’re things in AC?”

Sonny held his head up, but he wasn’t smiling anymore. “Couldn’t be better. Sid’s a godsend. A whiz with the books. Where’d you find him and how could you bear to part with him?” He even managed to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, and Vinnie felt a surge of pride.

Vinnie couldn’t resist adding his own opinion. He knew Sid was Harvard. He hated Harvard guys, as he was supposed to, since he’d gone to Fordham. “Yeah, he’s really good.” Vinnie narrowed his brows, trying to look as sincere as possible. “I went over his work and found only a couple a mistakes. Amazing, that guy.”

Sonny turned and gave him a look of utter astonishment and he also looked like he wanted to kick Vinnie. Then one side of his mouth quirked up. Sonny was suppressing what seemed to be an emerging grin. He turned back to Patrice. “Yeah, we really like him,” Sonny said nodding. “Is he here?”

Pat just glared. He said, “I haven’t seen him. But I’m sure he’ll show. Sid doesn’t like to miss these fancy…affairs.” Then he looked from Sonny to Vinnie and back to Sonny again. He gave a cold smile. “You two sure do share a smart mouth. You share the same bed, too?”

Vinnie felt his throat clench instantly. His hands went into fists. He usually had more control, but this…this! He took a sudden aggressive step forward. Sonny, without turning, without even seeing him, stepped sideways into him, blocking him, knocking him a little off-balance, and said, without missing a beat, “You mean for sleeping?” He moved toward Pat, shoulders pulling back, chin up. His tone turned suddenly tough-guy sharp. “You know we never sleep, Paul. Not our kind.”

Then Sonny turned and walked away. Vinnie was still struggling to make sense of it all. He moved toward Sonny’s direction, then turned back to Patrice. He gave him all the grin he could muster. “Nice to see you again, Mr. Patrice.”

Pat the Cat looked like he’d just thrown up a little in his mouth, then swallowed it. Vinnie turned casually away and sauntered off.

It was a bizarre start to an even stranger evening.

 

They were in the hall outside the ballroom, down at the end, and no one was around. A few more glasses of champagne had cured Vinnie of most of his tensions. Sonny was laughing at him. “I gotta remember to keep you away from Pat. You bring out the worst in him. Either he hates your guts on sight, or he’s fallen for you so hard he can’t see straight. Either way, you really disturb him.”

Vinnie was leaning casually, one leg bent with his foot flat against the wall. He held a half-empty glass. “Sorry, it’s not my fault he thinks I carry a black tie well.”

Sonny snickered. “No. Not your fault.” He grinned. There was little left of the Sonny Steelgrave who’d just faced down Paul Patrice. He was all softened now, and way too friendly. “You do, too.”

“Fuck that,” Vinnie cursed under his breath.

Sonny shrugged. “So what if you do?”

Vinnie just glared at him.

Finally, Sonny rolled his eyes. “So,” he said casually, “Who are Louie and Les-something?”

Vinnie snorted. “Couple a fucking vampires.”

“Eh?”

“It’s a novel. A couple of ‘em, I think. They were only on the best seller list forever.”

“Sorry. I missed that one. So why’d he call us by their names?”

“’Cause they’re like partners in crime.”

“Vampire crime?”

Vinnie laughed. “Well, yeah. They’re vampires.”

“So you read this book?”

Vinnie remembered when he’d found it, the first one. It was a little flowery, but the story was pretty good. But Louis and Lestat…well, maybe it was not good to be compared to them. “Yeah.”

“Was it good?”

Vinnie shrugged. “Yeah okay.”

“But Pat meant more by his comment.”

“Yeah, he did. He’s full of the innuendos, Sonny. You might’ve caught that!”

Sonny looked a little pissed suddenly. He said, “And you might’ve caught that that’s how we always communicate. Pat’s a weasel, Vinnie. Don’t let it get to you.”

Vinnie thought, You get to me.

“So what were they like, those vampires?”

Vinnie chuckled. “Maybe like us a little. One was all fiery and hyper and crazy with the devil in him all the time.”

Sonny started to protest. “I’m not….”

Vinnie rolled his eyes. “And the other one was always whining and broody and he thinks too much. Rather irritating sometimes.”

Sonny burst out laughing. Then he said huffily, “I didn’t even think Pat could read.”

“Yeah? Well, he probably had one of his smart Harvard accountants read it to him, a little every night like a bedtime story.”

Sonny smirked. “That’s probably more true than you think.”

“Sonny, can we just get the fuck outta here? I’m sick of this party.” Okay, he thought. Was that whiny? Was that broody?

Sonny looked down the hall toward the open door where festivities were still going on. Occasionally a person would leave the room and head for the exit. No one ever looked their way. “I don’t know. I’m supposed to be accounted for.”

Vinnie downed the rest of his champagne. “Fine. Then I’ll need another one of these.”

“How many have you had?”

“Five.”

Sonny laughed.

“Maybe six.”

Sonny clutched his chest, laughing harder. Then he grabbed Vinnie suddenly by the forearm. “Hey, Vinnie!”

Uh-oh. There was that tone of mischief. Vinnie got sober very very quickly.

“Let’s go explore the hotel.” And he pulled him deeper down the hall which led to back rooms, back elevators, and dark, empty meeting rooms.

Vinnie loved that tone, even though he knew trouble when he smelled it. He couldn’t resist him, though. This side of Sonny made him feel like a kid again. It was good. It was heady. And he was in no shape to deny that he wanted to go with him. Maybe he’d actually had more like 8 drinks. But they were small glasses, and who was counting?

He let Sonny lead him off at a brisk jog, and felt himself respond with a relaxed and casual laugh.

 

They found one big room where the decorations were still up from some party. The room was still a bit of a mess. There were wilting flowers on the tables, and the chairs had big gold lame bows across their backs. Sonny picked up one of the bows, untied it, and wrapped the gold sash over his jacket and around his waist. “Is it me?” he asked.

“Fuck,” Vinnie said.

“All I need’s an eye-patch and a three cornered hat.” Sonny jumped up on one of the chairs, then onto the table. “A pirate’s life for me,” he muttered half-drunkenly. Grinning suddenly, he kicked a vase of flowers. It flew into a wall and splattered.

Vinnie looked up at him in disbelief. “You crazy son of a bitch.”

In answer, Sonny laughed, then ran and went into a flying leap, landing on another table. He kicked that vase of flowers into the wall as well. “Two points,” he said. Then he looked over at Vinnie. “Two to nothin’.”

Vinnie put both palms up to his eyes and pressed, shaking his head. But Sonny’s laugh was infectious. Finally, he took his hands away, glanced at the nearest table, and mounted it. Soon they were both leaping around tables and kicking vases into walls. Some of them broke, some remained whole.

“Extra point if you break it,” Sonny said.

“Nope. Extra points if you hit the wall as hard as you can and you DON’T break it.”

“Okay. That sounds harder.”

Soon there were no more flowers or vases, and they had both lost count of the score. They sat on the edge of a table in the corner, swinging their legs over the side, chuckling.

“It’s called vandalism,” Vinnie was saying.

Sonny said, “They can bill me.”

Vinnie crossed his arms, looked at him sidelong. “You’re nuts, you know that?”

“Sure babe, whatever you say.”

Vinnie looked away. His breath caught.

Sonny moved closer to him. “What, you hate me?” he asked softly.

Vinnie shook his head. “No.”

“So?”

“Just don’t.”

“Don’t what? I didn’t do nothing.”

Vinnie looked at him. They were sitting way too close. Sonny was gazing at him intently. And with a look Vinnie knew he was not mistaking. It was that look of, well, hunger almost, as if Sonny was a kid and Vinnie was the Christmas stocking full of candy. Vinnie still felt that earlier sense of abandon. It was hard, very hard, not to want to actually be the stocking.

Sonny blinked, swung his leg errantly. “I didn’t do anything,” he repeated, softer and grammatically correct this time. The smile leveled to a gleam again, maybe mischief, maybe not. But the mob-king was nowhere around.

Vinnie could not stop himself from reaching out, putting an arm around his shoulders and giving him a quick, tight hug. As he took his arm away and looked straight forward, he said softly, “I know you didn’t do anything. You’re just you.” He put his hands flat on the table, on either side of his own legs, gripping the edge.

Sonny reached out and covered the hand closest to him. “Good,” he replied. “I’m glad we got that straightened out.”

Vinnie turned away from him, trying to ignore Sonny’s warm hand against his own, looking at the wall. “Sonny?”

“Hmm.”

“Do you ever think about doing something other than what you’re doing?”

Sonny’s hand still petted the top of his, strangely, almost absently. “You mean the job?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why’re you asking me that?”

“Just wondered, is all.”

Now Sonny’s forefinger stroked Vinnie’s forefinger. “Yeah, I have. Why?”

Vinnie turned his hand slowly until it was face up, then gripped Sonny’s fingers and palm hard. “Because this is so fucking dangerous. Pat’s gonna kill you, and then….” He turned and looked at Sonny full on. “Then what’ll I do?”

Sonny met his gaze unflinching, said softly, “Lay down your life for me?”

Don’t, Vinnie thought. Dear God don’t.

Vinnie couldn’t breathe. His eyes felt really really warm. Then he leaned forward and kissed Sonny on the lips. And Sonny let him.

 

It was a little how he imagined it would be. Except he didn’t know the fire between them would be so hot. He grabbed Sonny by the shoulders and pushed him off the table. Then he slid off, wrapping his arms around him, pushing, pushing him down. It was all he could think to do. And Sonny, between kisses and gasps, was chuckling just as he knew he would be, moving against him encouragingly.

Vinnie kept thinking, No. Don’t. No. Don’t, even as he pushed him all the way to the floor and under the table, even as Sonny pulled him to him and Vinnie was thinking he was going to have to fight to be on top, but Sonny pulled him on top, Sonny wrapped his legs around Vinnie’s thighs and held him there, panting, looking up at him, looking at him with that mischief all aflare in his eyes again, with his chin up and his lips pursed and flushed and swollen. They were still fully dressed, but it felt like they weren’t. Sonny arched against him.

Vinnie felt his body respond so powerfully that he couldn’t even think. He gripped Sonny’s shoulders as tightly as he could, then jerked him hard against the floor as if they were fighting. For a moment he had the crazy notion that maybe if he destroyed Sonny here and now, the problem would go away. He wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. And his next meeting with Frank would consist of tying up the few leftover loose ends and discussing what the next assignment might be.

Sonny’s smile wavered a little as he seemed to read Vinnie’s thoughts. Vinnie lifted one hand from one shoulder and leaned his forearm across Sonny’s upper chest very close to his throat, as close as he could be without actually crushing the throat itself.

Sonny gasped and stopped moving. And he wasn’t smiling anymore. His eyes looked steady, still, even calm, but something glimmered there, something like hurt but also acceptance. Like he understood, but also like he’d been down too many painful roads before.

But Vinnie thought having empathy for someone who could turn his empathy on and off at will, who didn’t seem to give a fuck about anyone but himself most of the time, was totally unprincipled. Sonny traveled dangerous roads. Sonny walked on hot coals at will. If he got burned, it wasn’t because he wasn’t forewarned.

So Vinnie pressed it a little further, gauging the response. He leaned on Sonny’s chest. The smile didn’t return, but Sonny whispered, “Okay, Vinnie.” He blinked a little more rapidly. Reached up. Combed both hands through Vinnie’s hair and pulled his head down for a kiss. Just before their lips touched again, Sonny said in a rich and even tone, “It’s okay.”

A surge like enveloping warm wind went through him, like a taste so perfect it tingled through his whole body. There it was. The thing he was so afraid of. The thing Frank couldn’t or wouldn’t understand.

Ah, god. He wanted. He wanted and it hurt. He wanted and it was like spinning until you were dizzy and fell down laughing.

This wasn’t normal. This wasn’t ordinary.

And he couldn’t have hurt Sonny if his life depended on it.

Vinnie let his upper weight lift, moved both hands under Sonny’s upper back, and pulled him closer for another kiss as wave after wave of something powerful, energetic and all too pleasurable caught him. This was the prize. This was what he desired. Destroying it…well that wasn’t even an option.

He heard Sonny’s little moans of ecstasy and knew his feelings were returned…and returned…and returned.

It was what Sonny did. If he liked you, if you were his, he gave and gave. He was free about it, unself-conscious. And these days, Vinnie had been Sonny’s target. Vinnie had been Sonny’s favorite, his friend, his confidant. The one Sonny chose.

He’d been caught. By his own trap. His own snare. To get close to Sonny, he’d been pulled in for real. Now he didn’t want to get out. He didn’t even want to think about it.

Vinnie broke the kiss and breathed out rapidly. He realized after a moment that he’d been saying something over and over. “Oh christ oh christ oh christ.”

Sonny said, “Shhh,” and his body undulated under Vinnie. There was the dark invitation. Right there. No need to R.S.V.P. He’d already accepted. Sonny knew it. And then they were tugging at their clothes.

 

“Jesus Christ!” Vinnie hissed. He was sitting up, trying to button his pants as Sonny pushed his head back against the wall hard, kissing him. Sonny was a bundle of energy, like trying to tame lightning. He was laughing again, and Vinnie grinned at him, feeling utterly euphoric. “Fuck, I can’t go back to the party if I’m all black and blue.” But he kissed him back hard. He felt so alive, and still desperate.

Sonny got on his knees, trying to avoid banging his own head on the underside of the corner table. He pushed Vinnie’s bangs up with one hand. “Your hair’s sticking up there,” and he fell back on his ass chuckling.

“Shut up….” Vinnie pushed him, and Sonny fell sideways against the wall, still laughing.

Sonny crawled out from under the table and Vinnie followed. Sonny stood up, straightening his slightly wrinkled coppery suit, and announced, “We need more champagne.”

Vinnie adjusted his clothing, black on black—even his shirt and tie were black--and ran his hands through his hair. He turned to Sonny, grabbing him around the waist and wrestling him back to his side. He couldn’t stop touching him. “Oh, you didn’t get enough?” Vinnie whispered, referring of course to the champagne.

Sonny ran his hand down the side of Vinnie’s face, his eyes sparkling. “Never.” Then Sonny said, “You should wear all black more often. It’s you.”

Vinnie was feeling a little too good to feel guilty about all his darknesses and secrets, but there was a pang. “Yeah,” he said seriously. “It’s me all right.”

As they headed for the door, Sonny touched him lightly on the hip. “It’s not like it’s a bad thing,” he said quietly.

Vinnie turned, grabbed him, kissed him, then let go and walked back into the hallway, into the shadows.

 

They hovered about the entrance for a moment, looking each other over. “Rumpled, but okay,” Sonny said, surveying Vinnie. “You just look a little drunk.”

“I am a little drunk,” Vinnie replied. He brushed a hand across Sonny’s shoulder. The gold suit looked still like new. “Good to go.” He smirked, trying not to think of every detail of what they’d just done. It was driving him crazy, making his chest tight. And he could see Sonny was a little more flustered than usual, too.

Sonny rolled his eyes and stalked back into the ballroom.

They both grabbed drinks first off, then wandered and mingled politely, doing what Sonny had said was expected of him. Vinnie felt hot. He felt as if everyone in the room could tell he was still shaking inside, still with one foot over the threshold of a completely different reality. If Vinnie was bored earlier, he wasn’t now. He watched Sonny through a kind of glazed daze. Sonny never stopped moving. Who could ever be bored with that?

Still nervous about Patrice, though, Vinnie let his gaze wander over the guests, keeping aware even as the new glass of champagne relaxed his senses. At first he didn’t find him. Then he finally saw Patrice toward the back of the room, talking intently with Sid and a few other men Vinnie did not recognize.

Vinnie walked up to Sonny and said softly, trying not to interrupt him, “Sid’s here.”

Sonny smiled at the couple he was talking to, said, “Excuse me,” and turned to look where Vinnie’s gaze led. Then his glowing eyes lit on Vinnie. How could everyone else in the room fail to notice that Sonny’s eyes were ashimmer in light? “Figures,” Sonny said, making a face. But even with that scowl, Sonny still looked like he’d just bought the world and was about to accept the deed. That look made Vinnie’s heart flutter, and he found himself grinning again. Vinnie had given him that look. It made him feel that there wasn’t anything he couldn’t accomplish right now.

“Wanna go fuck with them?” Vinnie asked.

“If he finds out where my hand was half an hour ago he’ll be jealous as hell, but okay.”

Vinnie punched him on the shoulder, then turned and led the way. They grabbed two more drinks off a passing tray and headed into the jungle.

Sid looked up when they approached. “Hello, Sid,” Sonny said. “I forget. Did I give you the night off?”

Sid stuck his chin out and said, “Hello, Sonny. I’ve been regaling Mr. Patrice all about the leaks and the cops that keep showing up at your place.”

Vinnie felt his eyes go hard.

Sonny said, “I believe the cop was in your good graces, yes?”

“And Vincenzo’s,” Sid replied.

Vinnie didn’t like this subject at all. They were all always playing each other, and it got tiresome, but Vinnie liked having the upper hand. And he didn’t like to think of Karen at all. He wanted to kill Sid. Sonny wanted to kill Sid. Why was this guy still breathing air?

Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe they should not have come back. But Sonny didn’t let him down. Sonny grinned. “Vincenzo’s in everybody’s good graces,” he said. “Everybody wants him. I get offers for him all the time.”

“But not high enough, eh,” Patrice smiled, but the smile did not reach his eyes.

“Never high enough for his brains or his right hook. Both of which I’ve not yet seen a match.”

Patrice looked Vinnie up and down again. Vinnie kept his face neutral, like stone. Patrice said, “I don’t see why we can’t all be good friends. What’s all the competition? Vinnie’s your man, Vinnie’s my man. Vinnie works for you so he works for us. Right, Vincenzo?”

Vinnie thought it was odd that they were all sort of wrestling over him, that he was the focus. “Well,” Vinnie said, keeping his voice level. “Right now I’m not really working. I’m drinking champagne.”

“But you’re Sonny’s shadow through and through. Even now.” Patrice spoke as if bored.

Sid looked disgusted at the comment, but gave a wry smile. Sonny glanced at Vinnie, his eyes still dancing.

Vinnie let himself smile wide. “What can I say? I like my job.”

Sonny said, shrugging, “The man enjoys his work.”

Vinnie suppressed his own laughter. Hell, yeah, he was enjoying his work maybe a little too much.

“Maybe that’s why I sometimes have trouble telling you two apart,” Patrice said. “Who’s running Steelgrave Enterprises these days anyway?”

Sonny laughed. “For your information, Vinnie could take over and fly it straight to the moon.” Sonny turned to look at him again. “But he’s not interested,” he added.

Vinnie shrugged. “And take on that kind of responsibility? I’d have ulcers in three days.”

Then they both laughed heartily, maybe a little too heartily. Sid and Patrice did not join in. They looked, for a moment, slightly confused. “What ARE your aspirations, Vincenzo?” Patrice asked.

Vinnie replied, “Six months ago I was on the streets. I’d just like to stay off them for another six months.” As he spoke, he noticed Sonny move a step closer to him and felt a sudden pang of guilt again. He didn’t care about lying to Patrice, but he hated that he was still lying to Sonny.

“Yeah, I know,” Patrice said calmly. “Fresh meat from the pen. Sonny doesn’t usually go for that. Too, um, how can I put it…slightly used up, maybe the worse for wear.”

Vinnie thought: They do this all the time? This is fun?

Sonny was right beside him now, but he didn’t look at him. He said to Patrice, “I know, I know, Pat. I don’t go recruiting from Harvard like you do. But hey, Vinnie,” he turned a sly gaze on him. “Weren’t you at Fordham?”

Vinnie knew Sonny was trying to change the subject a bit, get him on the firmer edge of the quicksand, and he couldn’t have loved him more in that moment. “Full scholarship,” Vinnie replied, trying to sound bored. His smile was no longer a grin.

“Really?” Sid looked a little taken aback at the scholarship comment.

Vinnie thought Sonny bragging about him was nice, but he was getting tired of being the subject of this rather horrific play.

Patrice stared at Vinnie in a new way, a way Vinnie suddenly didn’t like. Then Pat said, “The things you learn about people at parties. Well, then.”

Sid put a finger to his collar as if it was suddenly too tight. Sid had known that fact, that Vinnie had been to Fordham. It seemed he had kept it from Patrice. Vinnie thought, Touche and fuck you all.

Then Sonny’s hand was very lightly on his back, warm and just right. “We’re about to leave now, just thought we’d stop by one more time,” he said. “Nice to see you, Patty. Don’t be a stranger.”

Vinnie still felt a little flushed, finished his drink and set it down at the table.

Patrice said, “You’re welcome in my city any time, Sonny. You know that. And you, too, Vincenzo.”

Sonny nodded. “Ah. Yeah.” The sarcasm was faint, but it was there. “We’ll remember that.”

Then Sonny was pushing Vinnie in front of him. “We’re getting the fuck outta here. Head for the door,” he said softly. “I need fresh air that hasn’t been tainted.”

Vinnie chuckled. “Yeah. It smells like dead fish.”

Sonny laughed, bumping him playfully with his arm. Vinnie shoved him back. He hoped Patrice was watching. He hoped Patrice noticed that the backs of their jackets were slightly wrinkled. He knew it was a dangerous thought, but he wanted the guy to worry and wonder. Dammit, he wanted Patrice to stew.

 

Sonny said, “I’ll drive.”

Vinnie shrugged. He was too drunk anyway, and Sonny seemed hyper and alert.

Sonny looked at him. “I’m not drunk if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Vinnie shook his head. “I was thinking I am.”

“Would you rather get a room?”

Vinnie felt his eyebrows rise. “Yeah? You mean here?”

“No, not here. I don’t want to be anywhere near Pat.”

“Yeah, right. Of course.”

They got in the car and Sonny started it. Then he looked at Vinnie. “So if you want, we can….” He hesitated, which wasn’t like him. Sonny was being…polite? “It’s an awfully long drive home.”

Vinnie had stopped thinking ‘don’t’ a long while back tonight. “Yeah, okay.” And those two words for Vinnie could mean a whole host of other things, too. Yeah, okay I’m a cop. Yeah, okay I’m turning. Yeah, okay I’m your shadow now through and through.

Sonny said, “Good. I know a nice place.” He pulled out and headed for the road and in the dim moonlight Vinnie could see him smiling.

Vinnie watched him drive, thinking: I want him. I want him. I want him again.

Sonny turned to glance at him. “You’re not too pissed, are you? Sorry about that turn of conversation. Maybe we shouldn’t have gone back in.”

“What?” Vinnie was a little confused again.

“Just, you know.”

“Uh, whatever the hell you’re talking about, why would I be pissed?”

“Okay, good.”

Vinnie thought about it some more through the champagne haze. “You mean his dig at me being in prison?”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean. I told you he’s a weasel. He’s a fucking psychopath. He loves to see people twitch. But you didn’t.”

“Newark wasn’t that big a deal,” Vinnie admitted. “Not that I wanna get sent back up or anything. But everybody always thinks the worst.”

“Yeah, well, fuck ‘em all.” Now Sonny wasn’t smiling.

Vinnie realized Sonny was being defensive for him. Maybe Sonny was thinking the worst himself. He grinned at that, but his insides went instantly warm. “Sonny, my brains, remember? I have a degree. I was a trustee the whole time.”

“Yeah?” Sonny glanced at him.

“Yeah. I was well-protected. Really well-protected. Friends with the warden, all that.”

Sonny was silent.

Vinnie added, playfully, “I had a fucking still in my cell.”

“Really?”

“They were all sad to see me go.”

“Yeah, well, you seem to have no trouble with that. You charm everyone you meet. Can’t you tell Pat wants to steal you right out from under me?”

“Sonny, I hate Patrice. And you, well,” he reached out and touched Sonny’s shoulder. “You don’t have to worry about that. Ever.”

“Vinnie, I’m telling you, never trust that guy. Ever. Hear me?”

“I know.”

“Not ever!”

“I know,” Vinnie said again.

 

The room came with toothbrushes, shampoo, everything. Like kids, they sat up talking for a long time, backs against the headboard, shoulders brushing, then slowly leaning harder into each other. Vinnie kept wanting to just grab him. Finally Sonny looked at him and he looked at Sonny. Sonny whispered, “You’ve fucking changed my world.”

Vinnie felt the intensity deepen. He shut his eyes for a moment, trying to recall whether or not he was a cop anymore, or if he was completely lost. He felt lost, but not bereft. Sonny touched him on the forearm, grounding him. He leaned forward. They embraced. Their kiss was warm, then hot, then sweet, then furious. Everything kept changing so fast, tough, soft, hard, tender. Sonny was a really good kisser. Sonny’s hands were molten on his skin, electric. When he touched Sonny’s coppery dark skin, he felt the air in his lungs catch. He never thought he would enjoy touching someone so damn much. Sonny held onto him tight and Vinnie wanted him like he’d never wanted anything in his life.

And Sonny wanted him back, just as strong.

Finally they fell back in the bed tangled together, sweaty and staring at each other in disbelief. And it didn’t feel strange or wrong or uneasy.

He kept thinking Frank could not have been more mistaken. Telling him to just look away, walk away. As if it were that simple.

No, this was what was simple. Him and Sonny. The equation contained nothing more. Just the two of them. Like ingredients once mixed together that cannot unmix. And now he was going to have to tell Frank he would not be coming back.

 

Three weeks later, lying in Sonny’s penthouse bedroom, in Sonny’s big white bed, was a pleasure beyond describing. Vinnie loved that bed. And he relaxed in a kind of hazy doze, naked against soft feather pillows as Sonny’s foot absently rubbed up and down his calf.

It was late. It had been a hard day. Vinnie was dealing with a thousand papers, initialing and signing until his hand hurt. Sonny was making him a partner. A daring move since Sonny had only known him for seven months. Vinnie could not believe how much Sonny trusted him, and how easily. And through it all, he also knew he had to meet Frank the next day. He had been putting Frank off, calling in only terse reports to Lifeguard, or talking to Frank on the phone. He’d never gone this long without seeing Frank. He kept worrying about that face to face meeting Frank now demanded. There was no putting it off any longer. Wondering what he’d say, how he’d do it. Quit. Give notice. Turn in his resignation.

Sonny, also, had been up to his neck in more paperwork, and lawyers, and accountants. Exhausted, they’d fooled around for only a short while and now, side by side, they both just shared the silence. Usually they were talking, laughing about everything, but now they were just quiet. Finally, Sonny gave a sigh, rolled over onto his side facing Vinnie, picked up his hand and wove their fingers together.

Soon they were both asleep.

Vinnie woke abruptly, realizing Sonny had him by the shoulders and was shaking him. “Christ!” he heard Sonny hiss.

“What?”

“You were yellin’ like nobody’s business. You awake now?”

“Yeah.” Vinnie took a moment to orient himself. “I was yelling?”

Sonny lay half on top of him, both hands flat against Vinnie’s chest. “Real loud.”

“Sorry.”

“You okay now?”

“What’d I say?”

Sonny laughed nervously. “If I didn’t know you better I’d be jealous. You kept saying ‘Frank’ over and over in a real strangled voice.”

Vinnie closed his eyes tight. He lifted one arm over Sonny and pressed down.

Sonny stroked his chest briefly, then said, “Who’s Frank?”

Vinnie felt his throat close up. He should make something up. He should say something…anything…and make it all go away.

“Vinnie?”

Vinnie just held him tighter. But he felt Sonny move a little, the muscles in that lithe, wiry body harden just a bit.

“I guess you don’t have to tell me everything.”

They lay still for a long time. Vinnie thought Sonny might have fallen asleep. But then Sonny said, abruptly, “Do you have secrets from me, Vinnie?”

Vinnie took a breath. “I don’t wanna have any secrets between us.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Vinnie tried to keep his breath steady. He knew Sonny could feel him tense. He didn’t know what to do. Any decision he made led to trouble in his mind.

Sonny lifted up. Vinnie could see his face in the dim moonlight and citylight that managed to leak through the blinds. It was calculating. It was the mobster he held in his arms right now, like a thinly veiled firestorm about to break through and burn and blind anything in its path. He hadn’t seen that side of Sonny in weeks.

“When you don’t say anything that makes me nervous,” Sonny said carefully, his New York accent thickening.

“I…” Vinnie lost his voice.

“You can’t talk? Hell, that’s…that’s….” Sonny lifted up further and his eyes were slits. “Since when can’t you talk to me?”

“I do talk to you.”

But Sonny wasn’t placated. His mouth frowned. “You don’t hold back from me. Ever. Until now?” Sonny tapped him on the chest. “Who’s Frank?”

Vinnie gritted his teeth, still saying nothing.

Sonny pulled away from him then, dislodging Vinnie’s arm around his back. “The hell with you, then.” He rolled to the side so they no longer touched.

“Wait.” Vinnie rolled onto his side facing his back, reached out. “Sonny.”

Sonny said, a little harshly, “What then?”

Vinnie grabbed his arms and pushed Sonny onto his back until Vinnie had their positions reversed and he was lying half on top of Sonny. He looked down at him and said, as calmly as he could, “I can’t tell you this. It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.”

“Fine,” Sonny said coldly. “But get off me.”

Vinnie didn’t move. “Sonny, it’s not relevant anymore.”

Sonny’s hands came up to Vinnie’s chest. They were fists. “So it once was relevant? Vinnie. Pal. I just made you a full partner!” His words were drawn out a little in that darkly sly Steelgrave tone. He rarely turned that side of himself on Vinnie. But his eyes were hard. What was in bed with him now was the part of Sonny that made Vinnie indecisive, want to change his mind. The part that Vinnie couldn’t justify, or understand.

Vinnie felt his eyes get very hot. “I know.”

“You know. Good.” Sonny was gruff. “So then that makes everything relevant, doesn’t it?”

“It was very relevant once.” He realized his voice was shaking. And at the same time, he realized Sonny may be getting the wrong idea. Quickly, he said, “It’s not like there’s someone else, or anything like that. But I can’t. I just can’t tell you.” He did not want this. And he wanted his Sonny back.

Sonny closed his eyes and turned his head away. “I said get off me.” His fists were tight against Vinnie’s chest.

“I swear. It’s not important anymore.”

“Vinnie, you were screaming that guy’s name. Don’t lie to me!”

“I can’t. Sonny, I can’t tell you this.”

Sonny’s head still lay facing away from him. He asked flatly, “Why?”

“Because, Sonny, it’s a deal-breaker. Between you and me. You want me to do that to us?”

He jerked up, but Vinnie held him down. Pissed, Sonny jerked away from him, although Vinnie still kept his hands on his shoulders. “I don’t want you having secrets that are that big! Christ, Vinnie! A deal-breaker? And you’re having nightmares about it? And then saying it’s not relevant? What am I supposed to think? I trust you, man. But…but….”

Vinnie didn’t know what to do. If he kept the secret, Sonny the mob-king would shut him out. If he told him, Sonny the friend would be devastated.

Sonny said, very softly, perhaps deadly, “After everything…. And there’s still something this big that gets in-between us. It’s not right.”

“No, it’s not right,” Vinnie agreed gently. He just wanted Sonny in his arms again, that slim hard body, smooth-edged and slick and eager. He wanted to feel his barely contained fire, that hint of creative madness, that vibration of low intoxicating laughter. He lowered his head, tried to kiss him. But now Sonny pushed him hard with his fists.

“Don’t!”

Vinnie just nodded. His breath was shaking now.

“You’ve already said too much. A deal-breaker. That’s big, Vinnie.” He started talking fast, like he always did when cornered. “If it’s that big, who cares about the details. If you believe it’s a deal-breaker, then it is. And now I know it. And I can’t not feel it digging a hole between us. Vinnie…. What the fuck is going on!?” His body jerked again, jarring Vinnie hard.

Vinnie let his weight up a little when he said, whispering, “I wouldn’t hurt you for the world.”

Sonny turned his head to stare at him again, mouth in a scowl. His bangs were soft against his forehead, making him look so young. “But what? Have you already hurt me and I just don’t know it?”

Vinnie winced. But he did not look away. “Something like that.”

“Jesus!” But he didn’t blink.

“I didn’t plan for all of this to happen. Us.”

“Neither did I.” Sonny’s voice was softer now.

“But when it did, my plans changed. Everything changed.”

“What plans?”

Vinnie gulped. “To take you down.”

“To…? What?”

“It’s no longer relevant, but Sonny, it is the initial reason I came into your life.” Vinnie’s heart started to rush.

“Huh?” Sonny looked totally blindsided. Stunned.

“But I work for you and only you. I promise you that. I could never cause harm to you.”

Through Sonny’s stunned haze, he saw him form thoughts. “Were you working for Patrice or something?”

Vinnie shook his head. “No.”

“Then who?”

“Frank.”

Sonny shook his head in confusion. “Who is he?”

“He’s…he’s with the OCB.”

All expression left Sonny’s face. He stared up at Vinnie as if he’d been K.O.ed in the ninth. Vinnie felt Sonny’s body freeze. And he watched Sonny’s face lose all inflection, everything, except his eyes seemed to get bigger and bigger with every passing second. Sonny’s mouth parted half an inch. Before Vinnie could say or do anything, Sonny stated soft and shaky, “You’re a cop.”

Vinnie felt himself start to lose it. He grabbed Sonny’s shoulders. “Don’t call me that! I’m not anymore! I’m your goddamn partner now, dammit!”

But Sonny turned on his side away from him and said nothing. In defiance, Vinnie held him from behind, tight against his chest. He listened for a long time to Sonny’s erratic breathing. But Sonny didn’t try to get away. Once, Vinnie reached up over him and brushed the side of his head. “Please. Don’t. Don’t do this.”

But Sonny did not answer. He was frozen. He was shivering ice.

Vinnie put his leg over both of Sonny’s, holding him tighter. He couldn’t figure out if they were both shaking, or if Vinnie was shaking enough for the both of them. He didn’t care. Sonny didn’t try to pull away. In fact, it seemed he moved forward a little so Vinnie could wrap closer around him. But he still ignored him. Shut him out. Slowly, he heard Sonny’s breathing grow easy, and decided he’d fallen asleep. Vinnie pushed his face into the back of Sonny’s stiff neck and closed his eyes.

Vinnie woke, wondering how long he’d slept. It was still dark. Sonny was stretching a little, waking, too. He half–turned in Vinnie’s arms. He made a sound, almost like a groan. Their eyes met. Sonny still had no expression. The mob-king ruled right now. Finally, he turned away again, eyes blank, body stiff. Vinnie went with him, keeping his arms tight around him, not about to let go of him, and watching as Sonny buried his head under a pillow as if to block out all senses. Sonny was soon still. His body went slack. He slept again with Vinnie close against his back.

When Vinnie woke again, there was a tiny bit more light. Dawn would coming soon.

Sonny stirred in his arms. It felt so good. Sonny’s body was so firm, the muscles smooth and graceful. Sonny’s hips were very slim, the buttocks soft where they pressed against Vinnie’s groin. Vinnie couldn’t help but respond. But he was also still so ashamed at himself. He forced himself to remain very still.

Sonny stirred more. Vinnie heard the other man’s breath catch. Then Sonny pushed back very gently against his erection. Vinnie thought maybe it was just an automatic adjustment of his weight in the bed, until Sonny did it again.

Vinnie tightened his hold, stroking softly against Sonny’s chest. He wanted to see his face, see which Sonny he held now, but couldn’t. Sonny breathed in fast, three little gasps, and his body shuddered, but he pushed against him again. Then again and again.

Vinnie felt him take quick, shallow breaths, shaky breaths, and knew Sonny was still not okay, still fighting something inside him. But Sonny kept enticing him. Rubbing his backside against him. Vinnie leaned up and over him, one hand over Sonny’s heart. “Hey.” He kissed Sonny on the temple. “Don’t, okay?”

But Sonny acted like he didn’t even hear him. He pushed harder against him this time. His eyes were tightly closed. His hands were fists in front of him, clutching at the sheet.

“Sonny.” Vinnie stroked his chest again.

In response, Sonny moved further to the side and onto his stomach. He reached back and grabbed Vinnie’s hip hard, scratching him, pressing it to him, trying to bring Vinnie over with him. Obeying, Vinnie went with him, falling half on top of him. Then Sonny spread his legs, bringing one bent knee up. His head was turned away from Vinnie. His eyes still closed. Sonny arched his back up, all soft skin and hard edges. Who was this man?

Vinnie felt a fire flare up in him. He’d had the heat, but now it was a conflagration. Sonny moved up against him again, and again even as he gasped, breath hissing, in what Vinnie could only hear as grief and maybe a kind of hate.

He couldn’t stand it. “Sonny! Don’t!” He missed their easy teasing. They always loved with humor, with a kind of exalted affection.

But Sonny didn’t listen. Finally, Vinnie reached up and grabbed their jar from a recessed shelf. If this was what he wanted….

He was quick about it, his slicked fingers inside Sonny in a matter of seconds, and Sonny gasped and moaned. Vinnie could feel Sonny relaxing around his fingers, pulling him in. He pulled them out, knowing they were both ready for this. More than ready. But he hesitated.

Sonny reached back, grabbing Vinnie’s wrist roughly, jerking him forward.

Vinnie gasped, obeying again. He pushed into Sonny slowly, steadily, feeling himself encased, loving it, loving being inside him. It was like hot silk inside Sonny, like Eden itself. But then why did he want to start sobbing?

Sonny thrashed. One fist slammed hard into the mattress as he lifted himself onto his knees. Vinnie was astonished, a little afraid, and he stopped for moment, but Sonny wouldn’t let him. Now they were both on their knees. He pushed himself back onto Vinnie with a ferocious moan, and then Vinnie was moving his own hips, unable to control himself, and Sonny started breathing in little hiccups, then moans, then broken sobs. Vinnie thought he heard him say his name. He grabbed him around the waist, covered him with his whole body, and started kissing him on the back of the neck, on the shoulders. Sonny turned his head around as far as he could, and Vinnie kissed his cheek, his jaw. He reached one hand lower and found Sonny’s erection, wrapped his fingers around it and stroked smoothly up. Sonny’s body shuddered, then moved crazily under his. And the way he moved stoked the flames. Vinnie felt like he was pounding him, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to hurt him. There’d already been enough of that. But Sonny kept encouraging him, meeting Vinnie’s thrusts with his own rhythm, his hips wiggling back and forth just enough to entice further.

Vinnie thrust forward into Sonny’s heat, his erection tingling to a jarring explosiveness, driving him mad, at the same time his heart was breaking as he listened to Sonny’s broken breathing. Was it pain now? Or pleasure? The two were so close. He encased Sonny’s cock in his palm, loving the slickness, the rigid quivering. He loved touching Sonny. He couldn’t get enough of touching him. It felt almost like he was touching himself. At that thought, he came hard and hot and furious, as if he’d never done it before. And Sonny whimpered, and was coming in his hand the way he had their very first time together in that dark hotel meeting room, the way Vinnie loved it, all warmly wet and smooth and silken.

They both collapsed in a heap. Sonny was breathing as if he’d just about drowned. Desperately, Vinnie turned him until they were chest to chest and grabbed him close. “Sonny?” He said his name gently, clutching him hard.

Now Sonny’s arms went around him. Finally. And he pressed himself into Vinnie’s shoulder, his face rough with morning beard, and damp. It took him long minutes to finally catch his breath.

Finally, when they were both calm, Sonny lifted his head. His eyes were dry now, almost cold. He looked straight at Vinnie as if accusing him of something. Something horrible. Something evil. Then he said, voice hoarse, “I don’t want to talk of this secret of yours again, ok?” And he leaned in and kissed Vinnie so deep that Vinnie felt like he was completely and utterly possessed.

 

Vinnie squinted. The sun was setting and Frank stood with his back to it so as Vinnie approached the fiery orb shone right into his eyes.

“You can’t deny meetings with me! And you walked away before we were finished three weeks ago. You don’t do that!” Frank admonished.

Vinnie stopped about six feet from him. He could not see the look on Frank’s face. Frank was in silhouette. And his eyes were still slightly blinded. He sighed.

“What’s going on with you?” Frank asked when Vinnie said nothing.

Vinnie looked right at the sun now. “Bad memory, Frank? I already told you last time we met.”

“If you’re referring to Steelgrave liking you too much, I still don’t see the big deal.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Vinnie felt pissed, but he didn’t want to go that route. He kept his voice level. “You made a huge mistake with me, Frank.”

“What?”

“I know you didn’t like me at first, but I tried….”

“That’s not true!”

Vinnie swallowed hard. His breath caught and he didn’t want to go that route either. “You didn’t hear me when I told you what was happening with me.”

“I listened. You were being a bit dramatic, so I put it in perspective. I said to walk away. Simple as that.”

“You said it. Yes. Said it was that easy. But you didn’t listen. Frank, I wasn’t telling you about Sonny. I was telling you about me. Something very personal about me. And you ignored me. And you acted like all I needed to do was turn away from him.”

“That’s what it was about, right?” Frank hesitated now, unsure. “It’s always been about Steelgrave liking you too much, you feeling guilty….”

Vinnie shook his head. “There’s your mistake.”

Frank moved to the side now so Vinnie could see his face. He was frowning but also looked irritated. Appalled, maybe. Uncomfortable, too. And confused. “Steelgrave doesn’t like you?”

Vinnie closed his eyes. Every color in existence swam against his eyelids. Then he opened them, looked intently at Frank and said, “It’s not about him. It’s about me. I tried to tell you. It’s me who liked him too much.”

“Okay, I’m listening now, Vince. You have my attention.”

“Too late.” Vinnie turned as if to leave.

Frank said, “Wait. Where’s your report?”

“You’ll get nothing more from me on this case,” Vinnie said, taking a step away.

“Vince!”

Vinnie kept walking. He felt Frank move to follow. “Vince!”

Vinnie ignored him.

“Don’t! Dammit! You can’t just leave the case.”

Vinnie did not turn. “What’re you gonna do, Frank, lock me up?”

“If I have to.”

“You can try.” Vinnie stopped and turned to face him. “Go ahead. I have lawyers. Lots of them. And money.”

“What in the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, didn’t I? Got a little sidetracked. Yesterday Sonny made me full partner in all his businesses. And guess what? I didn’t walk away. I didn’t even flinch. It was that easy, Frank. That easy.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this work by Natasha Solten, you may also enjoy her m/m romances on Kindle under her non-fanfic name: Wendy Rathbone. Look for "The Foundling," "The Secret Sharer" and the soon to be released "None Can Hold the Dark" (due in fall 2013.) She also has an sf novel out, and a collection of poetry.


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